This is so funny; I had to share...I was reading about old editions of the Farmers' Almanac and some of the little tidbits of information they used to contain, when I came across this. I started laughing hysterically. Here is an excerpt:

"Don’t peck a woman on the forehead or the end of the nose, or jerk at her bonnet strings in haste to get through. Do take the left hand of the young lady in your right; let go of your hat, just let it drop. Throw your left hand over the lady’s shoulder and let it fall down to her waist. Draw her gently and lovingly to your heart. Don’t be in a hurry. Her left hand is in your right … clasp it firmly, gently, and with thought and respect. Don’t be in a hurry. Her head lies on your shoulder. Look into her half-closed eyes. Lean forward with your head, not your body. Take good aim … the lips meet … the eyes close … the heart opens … (don’t be in a hurry) … the heart forgets all bitterness, and the incomparable art of kissing is learned."


I can only imagine how this would read if it were to be rewritten for 2005.